jaedasanti's Journals on Buzznet http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us <![CDATA[Still Keli]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1598891/ Jaeda died just about 2 hours ago

I'm updating people

I will be deleting her profile in about a couple days

 

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2008-01-03T19:06:00Z <![CDATA[This Is Keli--This Is About Jaeda]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1583381/ Jaeda is in the hospital.  She attemped suicide last night.  She cut herself and took too many pills.  More updates later.

 

~Keli~

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2008-01-01T12:41:00Z <![CDATA[I Am Seriously On The Verge Of Suicide]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1532211/ My dad disowned me

Zack has cancer and has about 2 months to live

I was in a car accident and I'm in horrible pain

I cut my wrists last night

Zack has to go through chemotheropy next week

My Ipod broke

I have talked to my girlfriend in forever

I have a headache

Keli won't talk to me because I'm bisexual

(She thinks it's disgusting and shit)

Coleen is mad at me because I wouldn't go with her and her boyfriend somewhere

(Dude!! I'm not going to be a third wheel!!)

My cellphone dropped in a toilet at Walmart

All these little things (some big) are pushing me over the edge!!!

I really want to just take about 12 sleeping pills

Drink too much alcohol

And put a gun to my head and pull the trigger

I seriously believe I have no reason to live right now

My best friend is going to die in two months

I'll probably wait until he's gone to do it

Unless I find a reason to not do it

I don't really know what to do right now

I'll probably just cut my wrist somemore

I don't know

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2007-12-23T14:51:00Z <![CDATA[Favorite Lines In All Of My Favorite Songs]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1465731/ Well I saw a king drown himself in a creek just to tell her

But when he was gone he had no breath left to tell her of his undying love

"Undying Love" by Andrew Landon

I'm the type of person who lets fear drive

"Amazing Because It Is" by The Almost

Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you let me be

So long luckless romance, my back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

"Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy

The cross before me, The world behind

No turning back, raise the banner high

It's not for me, It's all for you

Let the heavens shake and split the sky

Let the people clap their hands and cry

It's not for us, It's all for you

"Not To Us" by Chris Tomlin

I am watching over you from the stars

Don't be scared I know exactly where you are

And there's a piece of me that's burning in your heart

Even death could never tear us apart

"Rock My Body" by The Higher

I won't let you give up on a miracle

When it might save you

"Miracle" by Paramore

Can we get away

Far away

See this place

Will you come with me

Are you down

To turn your world around

It's you and me tonight

Leave it all behind

"Rocketship" by Shiny Toy Guns

Could I act like you

And put a smile on my face

Not even for a second

Would I lie to myself

Too many things are missing

There's a tear in my eye

It's not a question or an answer

But it will change your mind

"Painter By Numbers" by The Sounds

We are the only ones we are running from

"I Never Wanted To" by Saosin

Hold onto me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you

And I'm not afraid

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

"My Last Breath" by Evanescence

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2007-12-12T10:36:00Z <![CDATA[Closet =O]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1464751/ I just came out to my parents

My mom didn't care really

But my dad freaked

He was all like well your going to hell

 

I don't care really

I don't like it when people judge me just because I'm bi

It actually pisses me off

I wouldn't judge anyone

 

As Dominico from rock of love says...

"I have so much love, I share it with guys and girls"

I wish it was that easy for my dad to realize

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2007-12-12T07:17:00Z <![CDATA[Love This Song X's Infinity]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1455541/ I would do for you what you did to me,
Even kill,
But to you I am just a mirror.
Well, sometimes mirrors shatter.

The shrapnel becomes deadly.
It surrounds you with no escape.
And you can't save her.
You can't save her.

Like a ghost, you slept in my bed.
And I fell while you tore through my neck.
When I awoke, you were already dead.
Those eyes, I'll never forget.

Make your move, take your time.
Every pawn threatens your life.
Go raise hell, come up short.
No mercy is granted here.

Best come clean, kill your stride.
Keep your head, cleanse your life.
Cause you can't save her.
You can't save her.

Like a ghost, you slept in my bed.
And I fell while you tore through my neck.
When I awoke, you were already dead.
Those eyes, I'll never forget.

"I don't care what you do to her,
You won't find her body.
I swear, I swear,
You won't find her body.
In time, the rain with every season
Will wash the bones down the river."

Death is upon all of us.
It comes in the shape of an angel.

 

 

"I Want To Master Life And Death" by Drop Dead, Gorgeous

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2007-12-10T16:29:00Z <![CDATA[No More Problems]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1454501/ I cussed out my ex

And blocked his #

MU-AH-HA-HA!!

And I no longer need a bf/gf

Cause I found someone

And she is drop dead gorgeous

She is simply AMAZING!!!

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2007-12-10T13:43:00Z <![CDATA[Okay...]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1446241/ Help me please!!

My ex-boyfriend won't stop

calling me

texting me

AIMing me

It's getting on my last nerve!!

He needs to get the fact that it's over!!!

 

Yet...I'm lonely.

I want a boyfriend or a girlfriend

One not like the rest

One that actually cares

One that listens to me

Holds me tight and never lets go

Kisses me softly EVERYTIME

Listens to the same music as me

Gets my jokes

Understands me and REALLY understands

One who is not like my obcessed/stalker/jackass boyfriend

One who will write songs with/about me

One who makes me smile

One who makes me laugh

Religious, loving, funny, cute, caring

Can be my theropist (not many people can be my theropist)

 

I am seriously crying

I am so alone

I feel like no one loves me

 

HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!

If you meet these standards PLEASE TELL ME!!!

]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2007-12-09T01:50:00Z <![CDATA[RIP CASEY!!]]> http://jaedasanti.buzznet.com/user/journal/1367721/ R.I.P. Casey.
As many of you may already know Hawthorne Heights guitarist Casey Calvery passed away last night. We will all miss him. No one will ever take his place. I'll lock myself in my room later and relive this burning sensation, caused by the salty tears clinging to my eyes.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Today is probably the worst day ever. Its with our deepest regrets that we have to write this. Casey Calvert passed away in his sleep last night. We found out this afternoon before sound-check. We've spent the entire day trying to come to grips with this and figure out as much as possible. At this time we're not sure what exactly happened. Just last night he was joking around with everyone before he went to bed. We can say with absolute certainty that he was not doing anything illegal. Please, out of respect to Casey and his family, don't contribute or succumb to any gossip you may hear. We don't want his memory to be tainted in the least. Casey was our best friend. He was quirky and awesome and there will truly be no others like him! His loss is unexplainable. As soon as we know more we will let you know.

Sincerely,

Hawthorne Heights

Eron, JT, Micah and Matt

R.I.P. casey. we all love you
]]> Buzznet jaedasanti 2007-11-25T13:28:00Z